Bones
by Thehushedchosia
Summary: A bit of KurKat, about two troubled minds searching for love
1. Chapter 1

Bones

Chapter 1

The blade cut deep with its sickled form, streaking across my pallid skin with each agonizing stroke, the blood pooling on my sweaty palm, as if my own fingers were bored and drooling at my own existence. The red elixir hypnotized me into drinking it, its red swirls a confusing trick. It took all of my willpower to put down the knife. The blade shook in my hand as it got closer to the table, the regret of what I had done emanating to every cell in my body. I sat there and looked at the destruction i had wrought. 10 bloody fingertips, each one an inkwell for what I would do next. The mechanical pencil practically flew into my hands, its anticipation showing through its lead filled body.

"Time to paint!" , said I, dipping the pencil into the cuts like a contaminated syringe. I drew flowers, people, houses...

It was a beautiful picture, I couldn't deny that, but somehow, it seemed symbolic, foreshadowing even. The entire town looked red with the thoughts of bloodshed that crowded my mind.

I went to school the next day, my peers were oblivious to what I had done. It was almost as if i had some kind of power over them, holding a reserved secret for use later when threatened. I put on a façade to cover up my anguish, keeping them oblivious to my pain and madness. I was always worried that somebody would find out about me and tell the rest of the conformed masses. I kept this worry in a bottle, and as i filled up the bottle, i made it bigger to accommodate more secrets. Soon it was as big as i was, and the bigger it got, the harder it was to keep down. I was a slave to my own secrets, chained to the earth as if a tiny puppy fighting a force bigger than i was. I felt helpless. I felt hopeless. I felt i was insignificant.

I am Karkat Vantas. I am depressed, but i would never tell anyone, except maybe my friend Kurloz Makara. He can't really tell secrets because of his...situation. His mouth is sewn shut to hold back the hoarse screams that fill his head. He is a nice guy nonetheless, although he does creep me out a little bit, like his normally cheery exterior hides something sinister in nature.

I see him before school and we "talk". He usually just writes down what he wants to say on a notepad, and i usually laugh at all the weird stuff he writes down. I pretty much talk about what is going on with me, and he listens intently, rubbing my shoulder consolingly when i get to something especially graphic. I dont know why he does that, maybe because he cares a lot about me, and doesn't like to see me in pain. I dont want to see him in pain either, but he never tells me anything about his life. He always has that dopey smile on his face, although it must hurt for him to do so.

I am going to ask him about what is going on with him when I get to school tomorrow.

It's about 1 in the morning, and i am very tired. Sleep is a real problem for me, it never comes naturally. If my mum knew i was awake this late she would probably kill me. Plus my younger brother Kankri would beat me up for no reason like he always does.

...

ok this is the first chapter of a new story that i made. Feel free to criticize if you want and please review.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I woke up with a cold sweat. I had that same nightmare that caused me to sew my mouth shut. I swear my father would be in here if i had been able to scream. I sat there and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, tracing the shifting patterns i saw with unblinking eyes. It was 1 am and everyone in the house was asleep, even Gamzee. What better time could there be for meditation? I assumed the lotus position, breathing smoothly and deeply as i concentrated on Photosynthesis. I swayed with a nonexistent beat, and my eyes started to shake. I started to hear voices, hoarse whispers that start softly, then gradually get louder. I like listening to these strange voices, they help me go back to sleep. The last thing i remember was thinking about how I'd see Karkles at school.

I have a strange infatuation with Karkat that he doesn't know about. I dont know, it's something about his smile when everything is wrong, and his eyes...oh his eyes! The way he walks, the way he talks, everything about him attracts me. I think about telling him every day, but i don't know how he would handle it. I dont want him to shun me, although, why would he? I will tell him today. I wonder what he is thinking now.

Maybe he is thinking about how he sees me every day before school, and the weird things that i can't help but write down for him.

My knuckles hurt from where i bit them, but i wear fingerless gloves so that Karkat won't get worried. I am a bit of a pain addict. I dip my hands in hot wax so that I can feel the intense burning that permeates through my skin to my core, letting it wash over me like a sensual bath, steaming my brain relentlessly with its warm, nurturing tendrils.

I woke up without a nightmare, which is good for once. I am looking forward to seeing Karkles at school today. We don't ride the same bus but it doesn't matter, as LONG AS I GET TO WRING HIS NECK. What? No! I can't do that, he's my best friend!

I got off the bus and looked around, i saw Karkat in the lobby, wearing his black turtleneck sweater. He looked uneasy, shifting his weight as if he wanted to tell me something.

Karkles said "I..I did it again last night Kurloz. The paintings."

I just looked at him and rubbed his shoulder, trying to rub the emotions out of him. His eyes told me that he was scared and that he didn't know what to do. I started to tear up, but i didn't let Karkat see and plastered a fake smile on my face like "it'll be alright Karkles". I continued to rub his back, it was the only thing i could do. Then, i wrote down the phrase i had wanted to tell him for two long years: i love you, but i erased it, in fear of what he might think of me.

Karkles said, "What were you gonna say?"

"Oh nothing Karkles.", I wrote back.

A slip of the wrist, an unfathomable mistake. I had never called him Karkles before. We looked at each other for only a second, but time seemed to be lost in our deep gazes. The next thing that happened was impromptu in nature and could not be predicted by any fortune teller. He smiled. His smile was a smile of a thousand other smiles, but this one had somehow been pointed at me, at this moment, this second. This smile had been reserved to me by Fate, yet they would never tell why he smiled. But just like that it was gone, almost as if i had completely imagined it.

"What do you mean by 'Karkles'?", said Karkat, having a confused look on his tender face.

I looked at him with eyes pleading for him to forget what I said, but it was for naught. I just stared, my eyes felt like molten balls of iron in their sockets.

We'll, the jig was up now, better tell him what I wanted to. I wrote a little 3 on the notepad where his name was, and he gasped. He ran away, my only friend ran away from me. I swear he looked like he was blushing.

He ran away as a buffalo would from poachers, interpreting my somewhat flirtatious gesture as a symbol of death, trying to avoid it with each hoofed step. I just stared at the ground sad, yet uncrying, staying strong in spite of myself, watching the place where Karkles once stood. I loath that name i gave him now, that one little name that possibly ruined our friendship. I wiped at an invisible tear, and the voices started to whisper again. I ran out of school, i didn't care If the police officers ushered me back, i just ran, and ran, and ran, out of the sun and into the rain. Somehow i ended up tripping and falling in a ditch. It is then that i cried, as the pouring rain tapped on the fragile glass that was my battered mind. I lied there and cried silently," Karkles! Come Back! I need you!" But nobody answered my nonexistent call.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't know why I ran away from him, maybe it was because he could see my skin blush, the crimson spots apparent on my otherwise flushed face. Only when I had ran into the lunch room was when i had realized what message i had sent to him. He must feel awful. Honestly i didn't mind him having affection for me, in fact i enjoy it a lot having someone that cares about me. I have to make this right.

I walked back into the lobby to find that Kurloz was gone. I looked in every crevice of the school for him. He wasn't there. He must have been very upset. I hope he's alright. I hoped that he would be there at Lunch, but he was nowhere to be found. I got worried and talked to the principal. He said that Kurloz hadn't been checked in to any of his classes. It was then that i realized he might have done something horrible to himself over this whole thing. I had to find him. I found his notebook and pencil in the lobby and looked in. I saw where he wrote the 3 and regretted running away from him. I flipped the page over. There was an indentation on it that I couldn't make out. I took the pencil and rubbed it over the indentation.

It said " I love you"

I teared up. Those words penetrated my brain like an arrow through styrofoam. This is what he wanted to tell me. This is what he had waited for so long to say. And I ran away from him. He must be heartbroken. I may have problems, but nothing compares to a broken heart. His anguish is so immense that a jackhammer would not be able to penetrate through it, but maybe a friend might.

I ran, i was scared for Kurloz, i was scared at what he might do to himself because of me. I had to find him. I ran down the rode and eventually came across a ditch that i tripped into. Someone was in the ditch with me. I was surprised to see Kurloz retreating away for me into a dark corner of the mostly lit ditch. I looked at him, he had blood on his face, and there was a piece of glass in his hand.

"What happened to you Kurloz?", i said, handing him his notebook and pencil back. He looked at the pencil rubbing that wasn't there before he dropped it.

"So you know?" , wrote Kurloz, a resentful glare covering his face.  
"You could have just told me you don't reciprocate those feelings instead of running away!", he wrote furiously.

"I didn't run away because I didn't have those feelings for you, I ran away because i was...blushing.", I said honestly. Kurloz's face lit up when he heard that, a smile returning to his bloodied face.

"You still didn't tell me what happened while you were in this ditch", I said, a curious look creeping up on my face.

"The voices told me to hurt myself in homage to you, and they told me I would never be good enough for you.", wrote Kurloz.

"So I cut my face with a piece of glass i found in the ditch..."  
" I look back on that now and think it was stupid.", he added.

I sat next to him, and rubbed his back just like he did to me. He started to purr.  
I told him,"Kurloz, I've been a real fuckass, and i feel terrible for running away and hurting your feelings, I'm sorry Kurloz. I'm sorry i was a bad friend. I'm sorry i didn't pay more attention to your problems, instead of dumping mine all over you."  
"Can you forgive me?", i said, stroking his mane of hair absentmindedly.

He put his hand on my thigh, and whispered in my ear, "Yes...", very quietly, almost silently. His touch agitated the cuts that occupied my skin. Nevertheless, I hugged him, harder than i had ever hugged someone before. Our embrace lasted 20 seconds, releasing a chemical in our brains that made us trust each other more.

"Let's get you patched up.", I said, and he ambled along after me.

He put his hood up as he passed the threshold of the door, with good reason. He didn't want to scare my little brother Kankri. We went upstairs to the bathroom, and i wiped the blood off of his face. I told him to take a shower. I got him some clothes and a towel from my room, and a bag to put his dirty clothes in.

I sat in my room, and couldn't help but think about him. Did I say enough? Did I help enough? Soon, Kurloz was done in the bathroom, and he walked into my room, naked save for a towel.

"What are you doing? I gave you clothes to wear." He looked as if he wanted to do something really badly, but didn't and went back into the bathroom. He came back out wearing the clothes that i gave him. The same outfit as me no less. It looked like that scene from Beetlejuice, when they try to enlist his help, and he changes into the same clothes as the main character, Kurloz being Beetlejuice.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

We were watching Charlie Bartlett in his room when i looked at Karkles. Karkat cares for me. I know that now. I placed my hand on his thigh, shuddering at the rush of excitement it gave me. He didnt run away like he said he wouldn't. Instead, he put his arm around me...and kissed me on the cheek.

"More to come.", he said.

"Good...", i said quietly in his ear, my lips straining to part because of the surgical stitching.

Metal met his face, and the coldness of it made him jump, his hairs standing up straight on goosebumps at attention. I kissed him, the stitching limiting its intensity. My tongue was free to do as it wished, probing inside his mouth through my metallic maw. My tongue was long, and when our tongues touched, it was then that i expertly maneuvered it so that it wrapped around his in a hug-like fashion. We had a part of each other's saliva inside of us, i had Karkat inside of me, that fact made me feel special. I licked his mouth clean and when I pulled it out, i almost forgot to breathe. Staring at me was the face of a sexual deviant, his psychosis showing through. He unbuttoned his pants, and i whispered in his ear, "Kankri is downstairs, maybe we should do this somewhere else..."

He snapped out of it, shaking his head. He said, "That's a good idea, lets stop this before it gets a little bit out of hand."

"We can go to my place if you want...", i said, whispering in his ear.

"That would be great!", said Karkles, beaming.

"Kankri, me and Kurloz are going to his house, alright? Will you be ok by yourself?", shouted Karkat downstairs to Kankri.

"Yes I will be quite fine, thank you.", said Kankri back.

Karkles and I left the house, and jogged over to mine, which was right down the street. We went in the house only to be confronted by my older brother, Gamzee.

"What are you miracle bros doing together, going upstairs for a sloppy makeout session?" , said my brother.

"Yeah, you want to join us?", said Karkat half-jokingly.

"No, I actually have to go to the motherfucking store and get some stuff.", he said, giving Karkat and me some time alone.

He was almost out of the door when he looked back at me and winked. He knew.

Me and Karkles went upstairs to get it going.

"Are you excited...?", i whispered into his pointy ear.

He responded by slamming me to the wall and kissing my stitched mouth, practically biting at those pearly gates of heaven that bound my lips together. I put my hands on his back in a hug position, and i kissed back, slamming him into the opposite wall with me on top of him now. We tossed this way and that until we got to my bedroom door, which we opened eagerly. A pile of empty Faygo bottles had grown taller since the last time Karkat was here. We closed the door behind us and Karkat saw my candles on the dresser. Karkat lit the candles with charming gusto, and looked at me like he was hungry for something, i was the gazelle, while he was the lion. He walked up to me sensually in fashion, licking his lips.

"You know what I'm hungry for, but we have to wait until that candle melts. I have something in store for you that you won't forget."

I sat on my bed, and patted the space where i wanted him to sit. He sat down, and i looked him in the eye. I started to undo the stitching that had been keeping my lips together for so long. He looked at me in awe as the metal wire found its way out of my skin. All for him. I then moved to the center of the bed, arms outstretched and awaiting the affection that would fall upon me

"You're going to love this.", he said, as he took the candle from the dresser and blew it out.

What could he be trying to do? Only he knows.

"Open your mouth.", he said, tipping over the candle as if a lemonade pitcher. I did as i was told, and he poured hot candle wax into my open orifice, free from its metal prison. It burned intensely, but it reminded me of when i dipped my hands in it, which made it feel a lot better. I let out a groan, a sexual groan. I was loving it like Karkles said i would. I could feel my pants shift at the copious amounts of arousal that had made its way into my brain.

His lips mingled with mine, their soft cushion a wexquisite company, his body coasting on mine to meet my deprived height. A blue flame burns brightly in its fleshy hearth within the hallows of my mind, as a sacred tree is petrified by its proximity to the black haired boy. I use this twirling inferno to pursue further peul, gently caressing the near-steel structure holding up his head with my now-autonomous dexterities. His sharp teeth bite down on my sore jowels, drawing out crimson vitality. Neither party ceases because of the red elixir, instead using it in tandem with saliva for further lubrication of the aching attractors.

He put his hand down my pants and made a grab for my writhing member, the slime coating his hands, which he rubbed on his face like a football player would with black paint. His hands were magical, stroking me everywhere at once, and I groaned with pleasure all the while.

At least that's how I imagined it to be.

We were watching Charlie Bartlett in his room, when i placed my hand on his thigh. He winced in pain from all the cuts he put on himself, and moved my hand away.

"Do you want to see them?", said Karkat, looking at me intently.

I nodded, and he took his pants off and showed me all of the welts, cuts, and bruises that made residence there on his thigh. He cut a symbol for Leo onto his skin.

"What is that for?", I wrote to him.

"I asked Nepeta to Homecoming and she turned me down. Leo is her Zodiac symbol.", said Karkles, tearing up.

"Why do you do this to yourself?", i wrote.

"I just get urges to do it. I think it is a release for me. It gets rid of some of the stress that i have. It's like an addiction though, if you do it too much you can't stop.", he said.

He added, "I can't stop. I need something else to preoccupy my time."

He cleared his throat and, tugging at his turtleneck uneasily, he added, "Or someone.", blushing like a ripe tomato.

I felt that that comment deserved a back rub. I got up, and crouched behind Karkat on the couch and started rubbing the knotted parts of his back with my forearm, smiling in spite of the pain it caused me. He started to purr, just like i had in the ditch.

"That feels nice Kurloz, but i don't think i did anything to deserve this.", said Karkles.

"The fact that you are being makes you deserve this...", i whispered in his ear.

My face stung where i had cut it earlier, the open wound coming into contact with the sweat that accumulated on my brow as i gave Karkat a massage. He was enjoying it, his stifled purring turning into relaxed groans. My arms started to hurt, but i had to keep going for Karkat, he needs a break after all that happened today.

"I want to kiss him.", i thought, puckering my lips slightly in anticipation. My Id took over, and i worked my lips like a machine would, running up and down his neck.

Bang


End file.
